by Donna S. Altiere 1991
Would someone tell me please
What is it I've done wrong?
Why doesn't my country want me?
I followed all the orders,
I did the job you asked!
I trusted and believed in you
until the very last!
You said you wouldn't leave me
if I was captured in Nam.
You said you'd take me home again
no matter what the war's outcome!
The sun is setting once again,
another day is gone.
My hopes have faded like the light
that anyone will come.
I know you know that I am here,
I have sensed your eyes upon me!
But yet you turn and walk away
leaving here without me!!
Again I ask... what did I do?
I just don't understand.
In the name of God,
I gave you all I am!!
I gave you my pride, my courage
I offered up my life!
I left behind a mother, father,
a child, or a wife!
I gave you all I was,
What more could you have wanted?
For God's sake, someone answer me,
What crime have I committed.
My cage is wet, Oh God I'm so cold!
The rain pours thru its bars,
How I wish that I could feel
the warmth of someone's arms!
My stomach growls without relief
I'm so hungry... yet afraid to eat.
You see, the stench of death,
of rotting flesh, of fear and defeat.
Fill my nose, mouth and throat,
then gag me till I vomit!
And then the cycle starts again,
I eat, I gag, I vomit!
There have been times when
I have prayed for death
But then I feel such shame...
for I am an American, WE DO NOT retreat,
we fight until the very last,
we don't know the meaning of defeat!
Sometimes I'm filled with anger,
or driven by its rage!
It consumes me and frightens me,
I'm afraid I'll go insane.
I trusted you... you deceived me,
You make money from our bones!
And just like Judas did to Christ
You denounced us... one and all!
You sit there in your offices
reaping the wins of war!
You stuff your round full bellies,
you are home, safe and warm.
While I eat tainted rice
and fear tomorrow's dawn!
But I vow when I die, it will be as a man
not a coward of your sword!
We sit and rot in cages
with rats nibbling at our toes.
We starve, we slave, we die...
and no one ever knows!
Our teeth are rotten with decay,
our bodies... skin and bone,
our eyes are sunken in our heads,
our hearts hold no hope.
I remember when I went into the jungle,
I did as I was told...
I really did believe all the lies
that you had told!
So I went out full of pride,
scared to death, that's true.
But feeling full well in my heart,
that the words you spoke were true.
"You are the best that you can be.
We'll stand by you till the end!
We need you all... every one...
to bring this dam war to it's end!"
"If you are captured or go down,
you needn't be afraid or taste the sting of fear,
We'll be right there behind you...
you are our brother, do you hear?"
Little did I realize how you laughed
behind my back...
"That naive little soldier is
never coming back!"
"You stupid fool, you're expendable,
you're just our toy, you see.
And everything that you are,
means nothing to me!"
But I vow "I will not die,"
somehow I'll make it through.
And when at last the truth is known...
I wonder, how will America feel about you?
You will not... cannot... forget me,
I will be there in your dreams,
forever a reminder
of your treachery and greed!
But most of all I wonder...
how on your Judgment Day,
as you stand there... before God...
how is it you'll explain?
Donna S. Altiere
